- Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
- If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do," is the longest sentence?
- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Things to Ponder
Fourth of July
The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . ."I'm not free. I'm four."
Pay The Price
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender."Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Few more People Jokes
Que: Why was the doctor always angry?
Ans: Because he didn't have patients and would lose his temper!
Que: How do mad scientists freshen their breaths?
Ans: With experi-mints!
Que: What do you call a boy with one foot in the door?
Ans: Just-in!
Que: Why couldn't sailors play cards?
Ans: Because Captain was standing on the Deck!
Que: What do you call a ship's gun which has no hair?
Ans: Cannonbald!
Que: What is a boxer's favourite part of a joke?
Ans: A puch line!
Que: Why was the fisherman mad at the computer?
Ans: Because he wasn't getting any bytes!
Ans: Because he didn't have patients and would lose his temper!
Que: How do mad scientists freshen their breaths?
Ans: With experi-mints!
Que: What do you call a boy with one foot in the door?
Ans: Just-in!
Que: Why couldn't sailors play cards?
Ans: Because Captain was standing on the Deck!
Que: What do you call a ship's gun which has no hair?
Ans: Cannonbald!
Que: What is a boxer's favourite part of a joke?
Ans: A puch line!
Que: Why was the fisherman mad at the computer?
Ans: Because he wasn't getting any bytes!
Penguins Go to the Zoo
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Animal Jokes
Que: Where do horses live?
Ans: In the neigh-boorhoods!
Que: What is cat's favourite subject?
Ans: Meow-sic!
Que: What animal talks a lot?
Ans: A yak!
Que: What animals use nutcrakers?
Ans: Toothless squirrels!
Que: What do you call a snail on a boat?
Ans: A snailor!
Que: What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Ans: Humphrey!
Que: What bear has no teeth or claws?
Ans: A gummy bear!
Que: What is the loudest pet?
Ans: A trum-pet!
Que: What do lions call antilopes?
Ans: Fast food!
Que: What do you call a snail that works?
Ans: A boa constructor!
Que: Where do mice keep their boats?
Ans: At hickory, dickory dock!
Que: Why didn't cheetah go on a vacation?
Ans: Because it couldn't find the right spot!
Ans: In the neigh-boorhoods!
Que: What is cat's favourite subject?
Ans: Meow-sic!
Que: What animal talks a lot?
Ans: A yak!
Que: What animals use nutcrakers?
Ans: Toothless squirrels!
Que: What do you call a snail on a boat?
Ans: A snailor!
Que: What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Ans: Humphrey!
Que: What bear has no teeth or claws?
Ans: A gummy bear!
Que: What is the loudest pet?
Ans: A trum-pet!
Que: What do lions call antilopes?
Ans: Fast food!
Que: What do you call a snail that works?
Ans: A boa constructor!
Que: Where do mice keep their boats?
Ans: At hickory, dickory dock!
Que: Why didn't cheetah go on a vacation?
Ans: Because it couldn't find the right spot!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wacky Jokes
Que: Why did a man freeze his money?
Ans: Because he wanted cold, hard money!
Que: What is the difference between one yard and two yards?
Ans: Usually a fence!
Que: What do you call a short phychic who escaped from the jail?
Ans: A small medium at large!
Que: What do bees do if they want to use public transportations?
Ans: Go to a buzz stop!
Que: Where do bees go on their day off?
Ans: To the wax museum!
Ans: Because he wanted cold, hard money!
Que: What is the difference between one yard and two yards?
Ans: Usually a fence!
Que: What do you call a short phychic who escaped from the jail?
Ans: A small medium at large!
Que: What do bees do if they want to use public transportations?
Ans: Go to a buzz stop!
Que: Where do bees go on their day off?
Ans: To the wax museum!
People Jokes
Que: Who spends the most time in the bathroom?
Ans: A plumber!
Que: Did you know there are 3 kinds of people?
Ans: Those who can count and those who can't!
Que: What do you call a boy with one foot in the door?
Ans: Just-in!
Que: Where do doctors go for vacations?
Ans: Ill-inois!
Que: Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
Ans: He wanted a well-balanced meal!
Ans: A plumber!
Que: Did you know there are 3 kinds of people?
Ans: Those who can count and those who can't!
Que: What do you call a boy with one foot in the door?
Ans: Just-in!
Que: Where do doctors go for vacations?
Ans: Ill-inois!
Que: Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
Ans: He wanted a well-balanced meal!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Funny Pictures!!
Disclaimer:
Why shouldn't a person go to a dentist?
Because:
Why are citizens of USA scared of smoking?
Because:
Evolution of Man:
Good Old School Days:
Teacher Jokes
Que: Why did music teacher get locked in the class room?
Ans: His keys were in tthe piano!
Que: Why did your teacher wore sunglasses during classes?
Ans: Because she had bright students!
Que: What is Maths teacher's favorite candy?
Ans: Measur-Mints!
Ans: His keys were in tthe piano!
Que: Why did your teacher wore sunglasses during classes?
Ans: Because she had bright students!
Que: What is Maths teacher's favorite candy?
Ans: Measur-Mints!
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